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Preparing Your Child for Supervised Visitation

Supervised visitation gives children an opportunity to spend time with a parent in a setting designed to support safe, positive and conflict-free contact.

Children often do best when the adults around them keep explanations simple, reassuring and appropriate for their age.

Before the visit

Explain what will happen

Let your child know the basic plan ahead of time:

• Where the visit will take place
• Who will be there
• How long the visit will last
• Who will bring them to the visit
• Who will pick them up afterward

Keep the explanation simple and predictable.

Explain the supervisor’s role simply

Children do not need adult details about the court case, family conflict or why supervision was ordered. A simple explanation may be:

Most importantly, your child should understand that supervised visitation is not because of anything the child did. It is not their fault.

They have not done anything wrong, and they are not responsible for the circumstances between the adults.

Keep children out of adult issues

Please avoid discussing with your child:

• Court proceedings or custody disagreements
• Problems between the parents
• Allegations or accusations
• Child support or other financial matters
• What attorneys, judges, social workers or other adults have said
• Questions about the other parent’s household or personal life

Children should not be asked to carry messages, gather information, choose sides or solve adult problems.

Help your child feel comfortable about visiting

Children may experience many different emotions before or after a visit. They may be excited, nervous, quiet, happy, confused or have mixed feelings. All of these responses can be normal.

Try to avoid telling your child how they should feel. Instead, simple reassurance can help:

After the visit

Give your child an opportunity to talk if they want to, without questioning them about what happened.

Instead of asking:

Try:

Children should not feel responsible for reporting on the other parent.

For the visiting parent

Your child benefits most when the visit is focused on your relationship with them. Come prepared to:

• Give your child your attention
• Follow their interests and developmental needs
• Participate in age-appropriate activities
• Listen without questioning them about the other household
• Respect your child’s comfort level with affection and conversation
• Follow the visitation guidelines and monitor’s directions
• Keep adult issues outside the visit

The goal is not to accomplish everything in one visit. Consistent, calm and positive interactions help build meaningful parent-child time.

For both parents

Children benefit when the adults around them make transitions as calm and predictable as possible. Please:

• Arrive at the required time
• Follow arrival and departure procedures
• Avoid parent-to-parent contact when separate transitions are part of the safety plan
• Do not use your child to communicate with the other parent
• Keep scheduling, payment, court matters and concerns between adults
• Follow the court order and the provider’s established procedures

Our shared goal

Everyone involved may have different perspectives and concerns, but during supervised visitation our focus remains the same:

Questions or concerns about the visitation process should be discussed directly with your Professional Supervised Visitation Monitor rather than through your child.